"Just a Story" = Valuable Moments

     This morning when I dropped Nate off for school he asked me to stay and read a book.  He selected a silly book about pigeons and a hot dog and we sat down to read. Shortly we were surrounded by a cluster of first graders eagerly listening.  After I finished that book, a new one, Chicka, Chicka, 1,2,3, was waiting (which we'll have read next time...).  As I was leaving, I noticed that one classmate's shoe was untied, and offered to tie it. Nate then walked me to the door, said goodbye with a kiss, and went back to his friends. 

    As I began my trek back up the hill I was thinking about the previous 10 minutes.  It hadn't been much time.  I said goodmorning to a few kids in the halls, checked in with the teacher, read a short story, tied a shoe, gave a goodbye kiss, and said hello to a few parents and children as I left the school.  Not much in reality.  But my brain fast-forwarded ahead ten years.  Is it not in these short moments now that we build the relationships that keep us engaged in the lives of our children and their friends as they get older? 

Nate's morning message to me a few days ago...

Chimichanga remake

I've recently been having a lot of fun over on pinterest and found a recipe for bean chimichangas on a friend's wall.  However, upon actually reading the recipe, I found a few things not so healthy so I revamped with good success. Does it compare to the original?  I don't know - I rarely use velveta or refried beans.  Elli enjoyed them as much as she enjoyed the name... I think this recipe could have a bunch of variations depending on what's on hand. 

Jessica's Bean Chimichangas
Serves 4

1 can of black beans
1/4 - 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese
4 burrito sized tortilla
4 tablespoons salsa
1 egg white
1-2 tablespoons oil
Sour cream or additional salsa, if desired

Preheat oven to 300.  Mash beans in a food processor or by hand.  Heat tortillas lightly to help soften.  Take 1/4 of the beans and place in a pile in the middle of your first tortilla, top with 1-2 tablespoons cheese and 1 tablespoon of salsa.  Brush the area around the beans with egg white.  Fold the top and bottom over the beans and then fold in the sides.  Place seam side down on a plate.  Repeat with the other 3.

Heat the oil in a frying pan and place chimichangas seam sides down.  2-4 minutes each side on medium heat should give them a nice golden brown.  Then remove them and place in a baking pan in the preheated oven for about 10 minutes.  Serve warm by themselves or with salsa, sour cream, or some guac. 

Chosen by Choice

"For many are invited, but few are chosen."  Matthew 22:14 (NIV)

I have often struggled with verses like this.  Why are some chosen?  What about those who are not?  Is it too bad for them?  Ooops sorry... you're not a "cool kid" in God's kingdom... stinks to be you... I've wrestled with this... not in a cavilier way, but in a deeply sorrowful way of feeling a loss for those not "chosen."

Tonight, as I was reading the parable of the Wedding Banquet in Matthew, I once again stumbled upon this concept of Biblical "choseness" for lack of a better description.  Tonight I did something different and asked God to explain this to me.  Here's what I got.

You are chosen.  What makes the difference you ask?  Why are some chosen?  Isn't this unfair?  NO!  Those that are chosen are those that are willing to listen to and for God's voice.  The chosen are ones who make the choice to follow God's desires rather than their own.  All can be chosen if they set aside their own pursuits and seek God's heart.  It's a heart condition.

Just as one decides their own physical condition, they can just as easily choose the spiritual condition of their lives through the pursuit of a relationship with God. 

We choose if we want God that close in our lives or to keep him as some distant being.  If we choose God there will be sacrifices and uncomfortable moments as well as great rewards.  There is a deep unexplainable joy in knowing God personally. 

So... what does this mean?  How does one know God?  It's quite simple really.

You pray and ask God to reveal himself in your life.  No fancy formula.  No "religious" act.  You tell him your fears and hangups.  You share your frustrations and insecurities and you ask for his help.  God is alive and active and big enough to deal with all your stuff.  And then... the great part is he takes some of the stuff and gives you the strength to work through the rest of it.  As you seek him, you find more of him, and it's beautiful...

In the end, you alone can choose if you are chosen.

Pi and Pie

     Today was one of those beautifully idyllic summer days.  It's mid-June and the strawberries were rumored to be ready.  Being huge fans of fresh-picked strawberries, I did some research and found several places that were picking. I found and cleaned up our old strawberry flat, Nate and Elli chose picking containers, packed some lemonade and we were ready to scoot.

     Our goal was ten pounds.  This represented a huge undertaking with the kids as in past years complaints typically began after the first quart.  I prepped them on the way sharing our goal of 10 pounds and giving them the picture that it would probably fill Mama's box. "I want to pick 13 pounds Mama, I'm going to pick 10 baskets!" Nate chimed enthusiastically.  Amazingly Nate and Elli set about to filling their containers, and their bellies, chit chatting about what they would make, what recipes they'd create, and the creation of a strawberry carnival.  With their first containers being filled and my box about half full I was feeling optimistic.  That's when I heard it, "Mama, I need to go to the bathroom."  "Mama, I'm tired when will we be done?"  We took care of the first issue and I encouraged them to keep picking.  Their picking pretty much stalled out.

     A few moments later I heard, "Mama, what's 12 plus 12?"  I debated throwing the question back at Nate, but a sudden thought brought me in a different direction.

 "24," I answered then asked, "What's 8 + 5?"

Nate thought it out, "13." Then threw out, "What's 100 trillion plus 100 trillion?" 

I countered, "200 trillion, what's 15 plus 8?"  A bit of a pause... "5 plus what equals 8?" I ask.

 "5 plus 3 is 8." He responds confidently.

"Ok, what's 15 plus 5 plus 3?  Remember you can break numbers apart to make it easier."

Some thinking, "22 no 23."  All while this exchange is going on, I continue picking.  "Mama what's pi plus 3?"

I'm surprised, but answer "6.14.  How do you know pi?"

Nate's eyes twinkle, "Papa taught me."

The next series of questioning relates to pi plus whatever he thinks of.  Every now and then I ask him to fill his basket before we keep going with math problems. I'm happy my box is getting full, and while he's not consistently picking, he's not complaining.    Another picker stops long enough to ask if we're homeschooling.  "Nope, just distracting (but in reality, isn't everything our children do and think a form of schooling?),"  I respond with a smile. Nate revisits his initial line of questioning related to dozens.  "Mama, what's one dozen plus one dozen?  I like dozens."

"24, can you pick two dozen berries?  How full does that make your basket?"

Nate eagerly picks two dozen.  "One, two, three, four..."  He dumps them into the box which is now 3/4 of the way full.  "I want to pick one dozen, then two dozen, then three dozen, then four, then five!" 

"I bet if you do that then we'll have a full box!"  Nate's interest in picking is renewed and in a few short minutes our box is full.  At the counter the kids are fascinated with the scale and the lady is pretty chill allowing the kids to weigh whatever they think of.  Then came our berries. Sure enough Nate's offhand desire to pick 13 pounds is a reality! 

    After picking strawberries we had a nice lunch, discovered a new park with swimming then came home and made strawberry pie for dessert.  The day was amazing, as is my husband who just hulled all the berries.  We all agree that there's nothing quite like the sweetness of strawberry pie made with fresh picked berries.  I was given this recipe 14 years ago at my wedding shower and it's become a seasonal favorite every year. 

Lynn's Strawberry Pie
A gift from Lynn Nugent

Ingredients:
1 quart fresh strawberries
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
3 tablespoons corn starch
1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon lemon juice
red food coloring (I've always omitted this)
1 baked pie shell of your choosing I've used traditional, Oreo, shortbread, and graham depending on what's available.  All are good.

Directions
1. Crush 1/2 cup of the berries and set the rest aside.
2.  Combine the crushed berries with the sugar and water in a saucepan. 
3.  Stir until the sugar is dissolved and bring to a boil.
4. Make a paste with the cornstarch and a bit of water and then add to the boiling strawberry mixture in a thin stream stirring constantly.
5.  Cook until clear and thick.
6.  Remove from heat and stir in butter, lemon juice, and food coloring if using.  Cool.
7.  While the sauce is cooling, slice remaining strawberries and arrange them in the cooked pie crust.  8.  Pour the cooled sauce over the strawberries in the pie shell and serve or refrigerate. 
9.  Enjoy as is or with some whipped cream.

Note:  This pie is best served the day that it is made as the berries start to give up their juices making the crust soggy. 

Ok - It tastes much better than this pic. looks!

Whatcha Reading?

I am really thankful to have such a great public library in town.  Not only do they have books, but they also have music, DVDs, audio books, and the “big bags.”  Big bags are large bags that often contain a book with either a cd or a related toy.  Big bags can also contain puzzles or games.  These are wonderful and often catch Elli’s eye.  I have a rule that we can only check out one big bag at a time.  This keeps them special while also allowing me to keep track of the many parts inside. 

            On our last library trip Elli checked out Goldilocks and the Three Bears in a big bag with hand puppets.  The bag has lain next to our library bag for over a week.  I think the three bears might have been wondering why they even came home with us.  Today I had to step out for a few moments and came home to find that Elli, much to the bears delight, had taken them out of their bag and was sitting playing with them.  She asked me to read the story so she could act it out.  This was a new story to her and she quickly found herself captivated by the story and set the puppets down.  Her attempt at using her hands and feet to work the puppets wasn’t working anyways.  She crawled into my lap and thoroughly enjoyed the story. 

            As soon as the story was over she scooped the puppets back up and divvied them up.  I was to be the boy puppets and she would be Goldilocks and Mama Bear.  We played for a solid 15 minutes picking up the story at different places and adding additional narrative not in the story.  Mama bear would fix the chair for Baby Bear and Papa should help as he had a hammer.  It was so sweet seeing her imagination at work. 

            Today wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t have books or in this case the big bag hanging around our home.  Although I am always amazed when I find Nate and Elli looking at books on their own at random times it makes sense.  They see us reading which tells them that reading is important to us.  They love being read too.  They have a hunger for knowledge.  These things combined create readers.  Although it sounds clichéd, reading opens doors. 

            How do you encourage your children to read?

April 30 - Reflections & Water Play/Scare...

Today is the last day of my month of reflections on play; although I am sure that it will be not the last time that I write about play here. Looking back over the month, I am amazed at how much I’ve learned from actually stopping and reflecting on our days.  So often we just get busy with the craziness and are ready to collapse at day’s end.  I have an amazing family and I am so blessed to have them as a priority.  I can’t help but feel that all the time spent playing now will equate to stronger relationships and more openness during their teen years.  While I know there will be rocky times, somehow the time spent now will be a contributing factor in how we handle the difficult times then. 

My other observation is that I didn’t run out of new stuff to share.  Going into April I wasn’t sure if I would be able to write thirty consecutive posts without a lot of repetition.  Some of my posts were more exciting to write than others.  Some posts were deeply personal…others not so much.  I think this is representative of the fact that each day is a new day.  Today’s experiences build on yesterday’s and as we grow as a family there are new discoveries/thoughts each day.   To grow together there is sometimes vulnerability, but when everyone’s goal is to honor each other we hold each other carefully.  Play includes a need for risk, but when this risk is surrounded by the support of a loving family and friends we can go so much further than we could on our own.  I think this is true of many areas of our lives including love and faith. 

Now to take a quick peek into today’s play.  Water is such a source of play for Nate and Elli, as it is for most kids.  They gravitate towards it.  Today we went down to our future garden spot and immediately the kids were in the stream, shoes off.  I was delighted.  This is what I pictured when I chose this particular spot.  While gardening is fun at times, I remember how tedious it can be if there are not diversions.  The stream is a good source of water for the garden, but also of play for the kids. 

I sometimes forget how innocent kids are.  At one point I heard Nate talking about getting a drink.  I called over that they could help themselves to the water bottle in the backpack.  The next moment I notice that they’re both bending over in the stream licking the water!  Fortunately I caught them on their first sip, but I’m praying that they didn’t pick up anything from water.  Someday I may look back on this as humorous, but today it’s a bit scary. 

As adults we sometimes forget what it was like to be a four or five year old.  We wouldn’t dream, in most cases, of bending over to drink water from a stream.  We’ve been taught that you don’t do that.  It could make us really sick.  We are the gatekeepers of our kids’ safety and while we can’t and shouldn’t protect them from every bump or bruise we do have to be vigilant.  As parents we do our best to make things as safe as we can, but there comes a point when we just have to trust God to keep them safe and get us through any difficulties.

Also water related Nate discovered during his bath time that he can capture air and that air is lighter than water.  How fun!

Nate borrowed my camera today - I love the detail of the larger leaves sheltering the smaller.

April 29 - Play's Dark Side

                While our play is fun, an awesome learning experience, even great for developing great relationships within our family, it does have a bit of a price.  I would be out of line if I didn’t share the dark side too.  Our dark side brings frustration for Mama and Papa and many devious attempts from Nate and Elli to avoid it all together…  Sometimes it even brings a certain amount of pain and tears.  The dark side has to be conquered to enjoy play. 

                This dark side is of course the mess, or rather the cleaning up of the mess that our play often creates.  As we remain in an almost constant state of play, we live in a cluttered house.  It is a rare moment when every toy is on the shelf.  As I look around now after an afternoon of cleaning I still see an upturned pillow pet, a piece of bread (wooden of course) on the floor, various books, a recycled boat/plane creation, binoculars, a handful of cars just to name a few things that got “missed.”  However, the Legos are all away as I requested, and so is the tea set.  I am told that this stage will pass, that one day I will have a tidy house, but for now the giggles of the football game outside overrule the desire for perfectly tidy. 

                I was told by several people early on that a clean house at this stage of life means that I don’t spend enough time enjoying and playing with my children.  This was an incredibly freeing revelation.  I do however have a responsibility to teach my children to be good stewards of their belongings and our house.  This is a delicate balance and as they get older they are sharing more of the responsibility of the work behind play.  This does not always go over well.

                David Elkind identifies three primary drives* for us.  Love, play, work.  He goes on to say that we cannot enjoy one if the others are not present.  This is true of our play.  If we do not do the “work” related to play, our play is not as enjoyable.  Nate always loves it when his room is clean, spending hours playing in it shortly after each thorough cleaning.  This cleaning is often painful.  He has to throw out some of his collections to create space.  Sometimes there are tears.  He has to give up some play time to tidy up.  There may be more tears.  However the end result is worth it and he finds reward in a more spacious enjoyable play space. 

                Nate is starting to really get it.  Sometimes you have to clean to be able to play.  Today was one of those cases.  There was something that he and Elli wanted to do, but I said the Legos had to be picked up first.  I was working on dinner in the kitchen.  Every few minutes I’d hear, “Elli!” in an exasperated tone.  “Elli, we not going to be able to go for a walk if we don’t pick up.  You want to go for a walk don’t you?  Well me and Mama are going to go and you’ll have to stay here!”  Then I would hear Nate picking up some more.  “Elli!”  He was getting really grouchy.  Elli was not cooperating or doing her fair share.  Finally I called him into the kitchen for this conversation:

“Nate, you’re feeling really frustrated that Elli won’t help, but yelling at her isn’t helping her want to help you.”

“No, I’m the only one who’s cleaning!”

“Well, that’s not quite true; Mama’s working on the dishes and making dinner.  How about if you try something different with Elli?  What if you made cleaning into a game, not one with winners and losers, but a game?” 

Nate skips out of the kitchen.

“Elli, why don’t we play a game without winners and losers where we throw the Legos into the bucket!”

                Eureka!  Within five minutes they’re telling me they’re almost done.  I come and inspect, sure enough they are.  They’re getting into this cleaning thing.  I give them a few more manageable tasks.  I can vacuum!  I’m happy!

                While I do not have this dark side of play conquered I’m working on it.  I realized today as I was listening to Nate try to get Elli to help that he probably sounds like I often do when I’m trying to get them to clean.  Yikes!  Time for a new strategy. 

I spy anyone?

* I think that we identify other drives/needs beyond these three.  Elkind relates these other needs back into these three.

Elkind, D. (2007). The power of play. Philadelphia, PA: Da Capo Press.